It’s Not Always Pretty

2014/07/07

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My Instagram feed and blog, along with so many others, portray a pretty picture. Fun days at the beach, smiling babies, clean homes, awesome hair days (like the one above). Today I realized one reason why you see the good and not the bad is because when the day is going to shit or you are covered in shit (literally) there is no time to grab your camera. Back to the best Monday ever, warning: not for the squeamish…

Oskar started the day with a shorter than usual morning nap that ended right in the middle of my work meeting, which means I get to conference on the run while following a crawling baby and muting to say “not in your mouth.” After the call ended it was time for a quick diaper change and to head to the grocery store before picking up Nick for lunch. I grabbed Oskar and felt wet on my arm, peeing thru the diaper is not unusual for this kid but it’s not usually leaky in that spot. I took a peek a noticed my entire forearm smeared in poo. Hurray!

To the bathroom we go to carefully strip off the poop covered clothing without making a bigger mess. But Oskar decided that was a horrible idea and fought me as I tried to remove his shirt. Thankfully it didn’t get all over, just right across his mouth… yes, his MOUTH. Quickly wiped it off with my own shirt and tossed him in the bath. All cleaned up and changed, I moved on to dealing with the mess in the bathroom while Oskar played around behind me. I heard the cabinet door close and turned around just in time to see him trying to take a drink from the Comet cleaner. That’s not a cup! Apparently he really wanted that poop taste out of his mouth.

After a google search and poison control call contemplation, we had a successful grocery trip and lunch… well, the broccoli wasn’t that successful, but let’s just roll with it. Now we are on to afternoon nap, right on track to go down before another work call. Oskar is fed, changed and ready to sleep. His overalls are already off because he figured out the strap, so I put him down in his diaper and tee shirt. Plus his diapers are cute so who needs pants. We have those cute little skull diapers from Honest Co. that are used when his cloth ones are dirty or I’m just feeling lazy.

He laid down like a dream and I went out to prep for my meeting while he talked away to himself in his crib. Shortly after my meeting started the coos turned into wails. There wasn’t a break in conversation, so he was left to cry for a while. I finally got off the phone and the wailing had turned to whimper, but I went to check on him anyway. There he stood, standing in the corner of his crib, clinging to the side with his head bobbing fighting off sleep and his little man poking through the bars of the crib while his diaper was flung off in the opposite corner of the crib. My poor boy standing there in his pee covered shirt all naked and almost asleep. It was hilarious and sad, but mostly hilarious.

Afternoon nap round two, diaper AND pants on this time. I creep back out to the living room and think, damn, I should share this, grab the computer, pop my foot up and notice a nice amount of dog hair on the bottom of my foot, glued on by poo.

Happy Monday. xoxo

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